Can Hypnotherapy Help With Grief? A Compassionate Guide

If You Are Grieving, Please Know This

If you have found this page, there is a good chance you are hurting. Perhaps you have lost someone you love, and the world feels emptier and heavier than it used to. Perhaps the loss happened recently, or perhaps it happened a long time ago but the pain has not lessened the way people told you it would.

I want you to know, first and foremost, that whatever you are feeling right now is valid. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no timeline you should be following. And the fact that you are seeking help is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of courage and self-awareness.

Over thirty years of practice, I have worked with many people who are navigating grief, and I understand how isolating and overwhelming it can feel. This guide is written with genuine compassion, and my hope is that it will help you understand how hypnotherapy and EFT might support you through this deeply painful time.

Understanding Grief: It Is Not Just About Bereavement

When most people think of grief, they think of bereavement — the death of a loved one. And certainly, losing someone through death is one of the most profound experiences of grief we can face.

But grief extends far beyond bereavement. Grief is the natural emotional response to any significant loss, and it can be triggered by many different experiences.

Relationship breakdown. The end of a marriage, partnership or significant friendship can bring grief that is every bit as intense as bereavement. You are mourning not just the person but the future you had imagined together, the shared routines and the sense of belonging that relationship provided.

Pet loss. For many people, the loss of a beloved pet brings devastating grief. Pets offer unconditional love, companionship and routine, and their absence can leave an enormous void. If anyone has ever dismissed your grief over a pet with "it was only an animal," please know that your grief is entirely real and entirely valid.

Job loss or retirement. Our work often provides not just income but identity, purpose, social connection and structure. Losing a job — whether through redundancy, illness or retirement — can trigger a grief response that takes people by surprise.

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss. The loss of a pregnancy at any stage can bring intense grief, often compounded by the fact that others may not fully recognise the depth of the loss. The grief is for the child you were expecting, the parent you were preparing to become, and the future you had begun to imagine.

Empty nest. When children leave home, many parents experience a form of grief — mourning the end of a chapter, the daily presence of their children, and the role that defined so much of their identity.

Loss of health. Receiving a diagnosis of a chronic illness, or coming to terms with a disability, can trigger grief for the life and abilities you once had or expected to have.

Loss of a way of life. Major life changes — emigration, moving to a new area, the end of an era — can all bring grief for what has been left behind.

Whatever form your loss takes, the grief you feel is real and deserves to be honoured and supported.

When Grief Might Need Professional Support

Grief is not an illness, and I want to be very clear that I am not suggesting it is something that needs to be "cured" or "fixed." Grief is a natural, healthy response to loss, and experiencing it — in all its messy, painful, unpredictable fullness — is a necessary part of healing.

However, there are times when grief becomes stuck or complicated, and professional support can be genuinely helpful.

You might benefit from professional support if you recognise any of the following. Your grief feels just as raw and intense many months or years after the loss as it did in the early days. You find yourself unable to function in daily life — unable to work, care for yourself or engage with the people around you. You are experiencing persistent physical symptoms such as exhaustion, chest pain, appetite changes, or unexplained aches and pains. You feel numb, disconnected or unable to feel anything at all. You are using alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to cope with the pain. You feel stuck — unable to move forward but unable to find relief. You are experiencing overwhelming guilt, anger or regret that you cannot resolve on your own. You are having thoughts of self-harm or feel that life is not worth living (if this is the case, please contact your GP or call the Samaritans on 116 123 immediately).

Seeking help does not mean your grief is abnormal. It simply means you could benefit from some additional support in processing and navigating a deeply difficult experience.

How Hypnotherapy Helps With Grief

Hypnotherapy can be a gentle, compassionate and effective approach to supporting people through grief. It does not aim to take away your grief or make you forget the person or thing you have lost — that would be neither possible nor desirable. Instead, it works to help you process your grief in a way that allows you to carry your loss without being consumed by it.

Accessing and Processing Stored Emotions

When we experience a significant loss, the emotions can be so intense that we sometimes suppress them — consciously or unconsciously — simply to get through each day. We push down the sadness to go to work. We hold back the tears because we do not want to upset others. We avoid certain places, songs or memories because they trigger pain we do not feel ready to face.

While this is an understandable coping mechanism, unprocessed emotions do not disappear. They remain stored in the subconscious mind and in the body, where they can manifest as anxiety, depression, physical tension, sleep problems, or a persistent sense of heaviness or numbness.

Hypnotherapy creates a safe, supported space in which these stored emotions can be accessed and gently released. In the deeply relaxed state of hypnosis, the protective barriers of the conscious mind soften, allowing you to connect with and process emotions that may have felt too overwhelming to face in your normal waking state.

This is not about forcing you to relive painful experiences. It is about creating the conditions in which your mind and body can do the healing work they naturally want to do, with the support and guidance of a trained professional.

Finding Peace and Meaning

Grief often brings with it a tangle of difficult emotions beyond sadness — guilt about things said or unsaid, anger at the unfairness of the loss, regret about missed opportunities, fear about facing the future alone. These emotions can become barriers to healing if they are not addressed.

Through hypnotherapy, we can work gently with these emotions. Techniques such as visualisation can help you find a sense of peace and resolution — for example, imagining a conversation with the person you have lost in which you are able to say the things you never got to say. This is not about denying reality; it is about giving your subconscious mind the emotional closure it needs to begin healing.

Adjusting to a Changed Reality

Grief often involves adjusting to a new version of your life — one that feels fundamentally different from what you knew before. Hypnotherapy can help you develop new coping resources, rebuild your sense of identity, and gradually find meaning and purpose in your changed circumstances.

Through positive suggestion and visualisation, we can help your subconscious mind to recognise that it is possible to honour your loss while also embracing life. These are not contradictory things. You can carry love and loss in your heart while also finding joy, connection and purpose.

How EFT Helps With Grief

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is another approach I use frequently with grieving clients. Sometimes called "acupuncture without the needles," EFT involves gently tapping on specific points on the face and body while focusing on particular emotions or memories.

The principle behind EFT, as described by its developer Gary Craig, is that all negative emotion is caused by a disruption in the body's energy system. By tapping on specific meridian points while acknowledging the emotion you are feeling, you can reduce the intensity of that emotion — often very quickly and noticeably.

For grief, this can be remarkably helpful. EFT does not take away your memories or your love for the person you have lost. What it can do is reduce the overwhelming intensity of the pain, so that you can remember without being flooded, and feel without being consumed.

For example, if a particular memory triggers intense waves of grief every time it surfaces, we might use EFT to reduce the emotional charge of that memory. Afterwards, you can still recall the memory clearly, but it no longer brings that crushing wave of pain. Instead, you might feel a gentler sadness — the kind that allows you to remember with love rather than anguish.

I find that combining hypnotherapy and EFT can be particularly powerful for grief work. The hypnotherapy addresses the deeper subconscious patterns, while EFT provides a practical tool that clients can use on their own between sessions whenever difficult emotions arise.

What a Grief Session Looks Like

If you are considering hypnotherapy for grief, it is natural to wonder what a session would actually involve. I want to reassure you that the process is gentle, respectful and entirely led by your comfort and readiness.

The Initial Consultation

The first session is an extended appointment of around ninety minutes. Much of this time is spent simply talking — I want to understand your situation, your loss, how you are coping, and what you are hoping to achieve through therapy. This is not about clinical assessment; it is about connecting as human beings and building the trust that effective therapy requires.

I will explain how hypnotherapy and EFT work, answer any questions you have, and we will agree together on a plan for how we might work. There is never any pressure to do anything you are not comfortable with.

During the Session

If you are ready, we might begin some gentle therapeutic work in the first session. This could involve a relaxation exercise to help you experience the hypnotic state, some initial EFT tapping to reduce the intensity of any particularly distressing emotions, or a combination of both.

In subsequent sessions, we build on this foundation. The specific techniques I use will depend entirely on you — your needs, your responses, and what feels right for you at each stage. Grief work is deeply personal, and I would never apply a one-size-fits-all approach.

Throughout the process, you are in complete control. You will not be asked to do anything you do not want to do, and you will not be pushed to confront anything you are not ready to face. Healing happens at its own pace, and my role is to create the conditions that support that process, not to force it.

Between Sessions

I often teach clients simple self-hypnosis and EFT techniques they can use between sessions. These give you practical tools to manage difficult moments as they arise — whether it is a wave of grief triggered by a song on the radio, a difficult anniversary, or simply one of those days when the weight of the loss feels particularly heavy.

Normal Grief vs Complicated Grief

It is important to understand that grief takes many forms, and what feels overwhelming in the moment is often a normal part of the process.

Normal grief, while painful, tends to come in waves. There are difficult days and slightly easier days. Over time — and there is no set timeframe — the intensity gradually lessens. You begin to adjust to your new reality. You can think about your loss without being completely overwhelmed. You start to re-engage with life, even if it feels different from before.

Complicated grief — sometimes called prolonged grief disorder — is when the grieving process becomes stuck. The intensity does not diminish over time, and the grief continues to dominate your daily life long after the loss. You may find yourself unable to accept the reality of the loss, experiencing persistent yearning, feeling that life has no meaning or purpose, or being unable to engage in normal activities.

If you recognise these patterns in yourself, please know that it is not a failing on your part. Complicated grief can arise from the nature of the loss (sudden, traumatic, ambiguous), from your relationship with the person you lost (particularly close, conflicted, or unresolved), or from your personal history (previous losses, attachment patterns, existing mental health conditions).

Whatever the cause, complicated grief responds well to professional support, and hypnotherapy and EFT can be particularly helpful because they work at the subconscious and emotional levels where complicated grief often becomes entrenched.

Self-Care Alongside Therapy

While therapy can provide valuable support, self-care plays an important role in navigating grief. Here are some gentle suggestions.

Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling. Grief is not something to be rushed, suppressed or apologised for.

Be kind to yourself. Grief takes an enormous amount of energy. Lower your expectations of yourself. It is acceptable to do less, rest more, and put some things on hold for a while.

Maintain basic routines. When everything feels chaotic, simple routines — eating regular meals, going for a short walk, keeping a normal bedtime — can provide a small sense of stability and normality.

Accept support. If people offer help, try to accept it, even if it feels uncomfortable. You do not have to face this alone.

Avoid major decisions. If possible, avoid making significant life decisions in the early stages of grief. Your judgement and perspective may be affected, and decisions made in the depths of grief are not always ones you would make with a clearer mind.

Move your body. Gentle physical activity — walking, stretching, swimming — can help to release tension and support emotional processing. You do not need to push yourself; even a ten-minute walk can make a difference.

Write. Many people find that writing about their loss — whether in a journal, letters to the person they have lost, or simply free-flowing thoughts on paper — helps to process and make sense of their feelings.

Taking the First Step

If you are considering seeking support for grief, I understand that it takes courage to reach out. You might be wondering whether your grief is "bad enough" to warrant professional help. You might be worried about being emotional in front of a stranger. You might simply not know where to start.

I want to reassure you that there is no minimum threshold of grief for seeking help. If your grief is affecting your quality of life, your relationships or your ability to function, then you deserve support — full stop.

I offer a free initial telephone conversation where we can chat about your situation and what you are going through. There is no clinical assessment, no pressure and no obligation. It is simply an opportunity for you to ask questions, get a feel for how I work, and decide whether you would like to take things further.

You can reach me at my practice at 40 Nursery Lane, Wilmslow, Cheshire, or by calling 07776 133247. If you would prefer, you can also get in touch through my website.

You do not have to carry this alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can hypnotherapy cure grief?

No, and any therapist who claims to cure grief should be treated with caution. Grief is not an illness — it is a natural response to loss. What hypnotherapy can do is help you process your grief more effectively, reduce the intensity of overwhelming emotions, and support you in adjusting to your changed circumstances. The goal is not to eliminate your grief but to help you carry it in a way that allows you to live your life.

How soon after a loss can I have hypnotherapy?

There is no set timeframe. Some people find it helpful to seek support quite soon after a loss, while others prefer to wait until the initial shock has subsided. There is no "too soon" or "too late." If you are struggling, it is the right time to seek help.

How many sessions will I need?

This varies from person to person and depends on the nature of the loss, how long you have been grieving, and your individual circumstances. Some clients find significant relief within three to four sessions, while others benefit from a longer course of support. I typically recommend starting with an initial consultation and then reviewing progress together.

Will hypnotherapy make me forget the person I have lost?

Absolutely not. Hypnotherapy will not erase your memories or diminish your love for the person you have lost. It works to reduce the intensity of the pain associated with the loss, so that you can remember with love rather than being overwhelmed by anguish. Your memories and your love remain fully intact.

Can hypnotherapy help with grief from a divorce or relationship breakdown?

Yes. Grief from a relationship breakdown is every bit as real and valid as grief from bereavement. Hypnotherapy and EFT can help you process the complex emotions that come with the end of a relationship — sadness, anger, rejection, fear, guilt — and support you in rebuilding your life and your sense of self.

Is it normal to feel physical symptoms with grief?

Yes. Grief often manifests physically as well as emotionally. Common physical symptoms include fatigue, chest tightness, appetite changes, sleep disturbance, headaches and a weakened immune system. If you are experiencing persistent physical symptoms, it is always a good idea to see your GP to rule out any underlying medical issues, but many physical symptoms of grief will ease as the emotional aspects are addressed.

I feel guilty for wanting to feel better. Is that normal?

Very normal. Many grieving people feel that healing somehow means forgetting, or that feeling better is disloyal to the person they have lost. This is not the case. Healing does not mean forgetting — it means learning to carry your love and your loss in a way that allows you to continue living. The person you have lost would not want you to suffer indefinitely.